It's a man who has utilised radical surgery, costume and mimicry to masquerade as a member of the opposite sex. No I wouldn't. Babies come out of a vagina. They do not come out of a reshaped and repurposed penis. Honestly, that's a really weird line to draw. Babies don't come out of your hand, but I imagine you use that quite a bit. No, that is not what I am saying. I am explaining the difference in fuctioning between a vagina and a surgically-created organ that people call a vagina. I didn't think I would have to explain that, but I think you knew exactly what I was getting at and are trying to trip me up.
I have a preference towards biological women, and within that, I also have personal preferences. There is never going to be anything wrong with that. Like if it behaves and looks and feels exactly like a vagina otherwise, then why not? Are you trying to find excuses not to be interested in it?
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How about we used the terminology "naturally created vagina" and "artificially created vagina"? Frankly i do not need to give excuses or reasons to anyone about who i want to be intimate with. It's my body, my choice - just like it is their body and their choice to get surgery to live a happier life. Also, I said babies come out of vaginas not that they make babies, because that's not how it works. I''m not trying to find an issue with anything. I do not have any issues. I just don't want to date certain people. You have the personal freedom to do whatever you want to date whoever you want, that doesn't mean the decisions can't be scrutinized.
If you'd break up with someone you were in love with because you found out they were Jewish, I'd say that's pretty blatant bigotry. You have the right to do so, but that doesn't absolve you of the bigotry. Same is true for breaking up with a trans woman when you find out she's trans. Trying to equate me to the level of an antisemite because I have personal preference is pretty lowbrow. First of all the scenario was talking about dating, not breaking up with someone I'm in love with. That's the most bullshit logical stretch a person could make.
You know if a 90 year old woman asked me out I would decline. I don't date women that old and I'm not bigoted against old ladies. I just don't want them on my dick. They're not entitled to my body. It's not even close to the same thing. If I found out the girl I was dating was once a man it would seriously weird me out. It's not like I hate trans people but I definitely don't want to have sex with them.
So are you going to explain why it's not the same thing? You're just restating the opposing position, not arguing anything. What's even the point of your comment?
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I've slept with a couple of post-op girls, and I can say it does looks like any other vagina, the only thing is that they don't all self-lubricate. I know trans-girls who do, and others who don't, but other than that it looks and feels very natural. Tastes pretty much the same too. Most trans-girls retain full sensation after surgery, and it's possible to stimulate the clitoris or the vagina just like you would with any other woman some of them like one more than the other, or both. Going to pass. Granted, haven't done much dating in general but that's not my cup of tea.
Friends sure though. Only hang up would be biological children, otherwise I'm all for it.
I honestly wouldn't hesitate getting intimate either. You should already know that straight men do not want biological men. Straight men only want biological women born with a vagina. You having surgery does not change their preference. If you don't mind me asking, why would you be sad? The comments seem to reflect an honest array of feelings and opinions, and people are being rather respectful. Seems to me that this is exactly the type of conversation that society should have about this issue.
I'm already laden with insecurity and self loathing regarding this facet of myself that I cannot change, and face bigotry regarding it every day. To find that it is the the key reason that I'll likely never find someone who loves me is just kinda soul crushing. I can't be angry, because like you said, they're just expressing their honest feelings, and I can't blame them for how they feel or what they're into. But it does make me very sad, because having it laid out so plainly, so bluntly, of a myriad of voices all saying at once "We don't like you, for the simple and unchangeable fact of what you are" is extremely demoralizing.
I think I speak for everyone here in saying that nobody here "doesn't like you" because you are transgender. It is also fair to say that the everyone would want you to be happy. I know that I certainly see no reason why you should not be. Of course this also means finding someone that loves you and accepts you. If you are a good person and I presume that you are then you certainly deserve that as much as anyone else. I happen to believe that the best way to promote trans acceptance is for everyone, trans people included, to be open minded about what, specifically, are reasonable changes to our social compact regarding who really are men and women, and what rules should be in place regarding men's and women's institutions and spaces.
My guess is that much of what you see as "bigotry" is merely other people expressing what they consider to be reasonable concerns about opening up gender segregated areas. When reasonable people bring up reasonable concerns and are shouted down as bigots and trans-haters not much progress is going to be made. And we clearly see that in the issue of dating, where straight men are branded as bad people for expressing the very natural, and reasonable, preference for biological women only. Nothing trumps biological reality, and it is not bigotry when people point this out.
I have a feeling that you get this, and like I said, I certainly hope that you can find a way to be happy with yourself, and hope you find someone that loves you. That is a turn off to hetersexual men. You are not the opposite biological sex. My buddy has a strong attraction to trans women. Never really comes up in casual conversation, but when we were on a boys trip he kept on trying to drag me to clubs that they perform in.
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At first it was funny, and then it became obvious that he was actually very attracted to them. I think it is more of a sex kink for him though, I don't think he was thinking of settling down with them. I am happily in a relationship, but if I were single and found a strong bond with a trans person, I don't think I personally would have a issue.
I like people for their personalities over their physical attributes so I could see past the penis. If you mean the new cool made up definition that includes people with gender dysphoria, then fuck no. Never stick your dick in crazy. If I found her attractive mentally and physically enough to pursue her and then I found out, I probably wouldn't care. If I knew before, I might. That seems super hypocritical of me and I need to reflect on it honestly because I don't like my answer.
No thanks. I would be very upset if someone tried to get with me without making it clear beforehand that they were transgender. Considering the amount of violence that happens and is even supported on liberal places like Reddit , there's not a trans girl out there who's going to try to sneak it past you knowing there's a risk you'd get violent. Don't see a good reason to worry about that if I find her attractive.
Post-op, I wouldn't care at all if she was born with a penis. I don't know if I'd be down with getting physical if she'd still have one, but I'd likely be willing to find out as long as she wouldn't be bothered by how extrasuperawkward I'd be about it. I have no interest in having kids. If I did, and their being the biokids of myself and my partner mattered, the answer'd probably be different.
If all the elements that make a cis-woman attractive to me are present, than I wouldn't have any issue with it. I've met some transwomen in college who I didn't even realize were not cis until later on. There was a real cutie-pie in my physics class I should've asked out. I think I chickened out, not because she was trans but because I thought it would be weird to date a lab partner.
I'll pass. I have no problem with transgenders, but I'm not personally attracted to them, either. For me, it doesn't matter. As long as we have chemistry and connect, and actually want to be together. That's what matters. Don't see a problem with it but my preference is the real thing idk why it's just something about it is not attractive to me. There are some seriously delusional people in this thread.
Apparently you're an asshole for your sexual orientation which you have no control over. It's not transphobic to not want a sexual relationship with trans people.
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Fuck yourself if you're going to act like it's oppressive to not have an unconventional orientation. Very likely not for me, not really a big issue though. I've been attracted to masculine females, never to feminine men, kinda strange when I think about it. Something more to women than femininity. Personally, it's important for me that I'll have kids of my own one day, biologically mine.
Besides, it's easier to raise a kid without having to explain to them why mom isn't mom at some point. I dont think i will until they can produce hormones on their own. Smell is a huge part of the attraction for me. If they were lax on their hormone therapy or if another chemical reaction in their body effected it I would be thrown. The fear of this would get in the way of me being comfortable enough.
Life would be easier the dating parts if I was bi. I haven't been able to get in a relationship with a biological woman, let alone a trans woman. As long as we have good chemistry, I'd be fine with dating a trans woman. I'll be fine if I never have to deal with this decision. At the moment, it is a no from me. Not saying it's wrong, I just don't want to date a gay guy who became a woman.
I raised this with my housemate when a trans woman went in to celebrity big brother in the UK. She wa not a good representation. He said he could never date 'one' but I asked him how he would know? I showed him progress pics on reddit threads and it dawned on him that Adam's apples could be shaved away and a former man could become a beautiful woman Based on some of the comments from straight men I'm seeing here, that's probably a good thing. Personally, I wouldn't. Whenever I see a trans-woman I can't help notice that their jawlines, hands and facial structure still looks more masculine than a non-trans woman sorry if that isn' the term, no idea what to say without offending.
In the nicest way I can say this, I definitely will never date a transgender woman. I do not mean to be at all disrespectful, but I will be honest.. Why not accept the sex you were born with? I am male regardless of how I feel mentally or emotionally about it. With regards to the question, I just like the ladies too much. It's hard to comprehend someone elses perspective because we are blinded by our own sometimes. I learned this about depression but it applies to a lot of other issues.
This isn't one to one, but maybe it will help. It's how I had to break it down to people, so I think it can give some insight at least. Imagine if you were given a suit to wear. Now, it's a fine suit, there's nothing wrong with it outwardly, but it itches, clings in the wrong places, and you just generally feel terrible wearing it. How long would you keep it on? Sure, people will tell you "you look great", "we gave this to you, so the least you could do is wear it" and "I really prefer you in this suit", and that's all amazing. You may even realize that you do look good in it outwardly, but inwardly you just feel fucking god awful.
You may be able to wear it for an hour. Maybe an evening. Maybe even for years. But it never breaks in, never gets better, and it may even start to feel worse. At what point do you realize "I can just change my clothes into something that makes me way more comfortable, and live a much happier and better life? This is the best explanation I have ever seen. Can I steal this to use. When our friends are saving for backpacking trips and festivals, trans people are saving for surgeries and expensive medications.
When our friends are putting a down payment on a house, we are putting down a down payment to just feel comfortable in our bodies. Most people are relieved when puberty ends. Trans people know better because we have to go through it all again.
I tried that for a very long time and it really wasn't working out for me. From puberty onward as my body became more masculine I felt less connected to it and less able to go on living. And then HRT reversed all of that and now I'm living happily and healthily. On a more clinical side, the reason I experienced that is likely that my brain was less masculinized during prenatal development, essentially leaving me with a feminine structured brain that is more apt for existing in a body with typical female anatomy and typical female hormone levels rather than typical male levels.
Thank you for answering my question. You have an awesome testimony and explanation. Still, it is very hard for me to understand as I will never experience that sort of masculine disconnection. Yeah, this is literally what I try explaining to people when they say they don't understand or can't relate. On the other hand, with some logical trickery, we can MAKE you understand: Imagine, for example, you gained some weight.
You lose it again, but you grew boobs in the process! Big squishy manboobses. And they won't go away.
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You get angry, you hate them, you think they look terrible and you want them fucking GONE You would now be experiencing gender dysphoria in a very similar way to us. Because your guy brain says 'don't have boobs'. My opinion is that I have no right to have an opinion on what happens between two consenting adults. I wouldn't be attracted to a girl with an Adams apple, so it's not their personality or choices, its the body. I wouldnt. Transgender people define their identity based partially on physical and hormonal characteristics, and thats fine. I judge my own identity partially on my sexual orientation toward cis gendered people of the opposite sex, and thats also fine.
I dont need any more justification than that. I'm not gay.. I'm not attracted sexually to men.. If I get a tail stitched on it doesn't make me a dog.. And I don't care if that makes me offensive or whatever the SJWs say. Genetics is one factor that determines sex, the most important factor, but not the only one and can be overruled. People who are genotypically female but phenotypically male occur more often than you might think, and vice versa. If you took a dna test and found that you were genotypically female, would you suddenly identify as a gay woman? Or would you continue to consider yourself a man because you feel more comfortable as one?
How is a person with XY genes and an androgen insensitivity physically any different from a person who takes hormone blockers? You are over complicating it. They look at the way they look and decide if they have attraction to them. It's done in a few seconds. Usually the correct genetalia to their preference is neccessary. The guy you are responding to is simply saying he cannot shake the feeling that the opposite genitals used to be there, and for him it's a deal breaker. You wouldn't criticize a person for not finding fake breasts attractive, I don't see how this is any different.
People should be free to like the things they want to without people trying to shame them. Nope, nope, nope. And I think failure of a post-op to disclose this status before sexual relations should be considered rape. Not transphobic.
But you can have sexual preferences and opinions without actually hating. Thinking trans people are raping people for not disclosing their medical history is pretty out there. I don't have any problem with it, theoretically! I would totally accept how she identifies herself, and sexy activities would be no problem for me. I'm attracted to the person, not the parts. However, I don't know any trans women, so I have not tested whether I would actually be attracted.
But then again, I'm mostly attracted to men, with the occasional woman. So that's probably the larger factor here. Trans woman can be both It can take years to transition, find confidence, and find yourself. Once you do, im game. To be fair i don't date college students or interns either.
Appearance wise it's all up to everyone's subjective opinion and taste sure, but I think what's important is that a trans person is capable of being a whole person and not completely damaged. Dating someone who looks a certain way is not as big of a problem as dating someone with a very toxic or problematic personality. It's understandable for someone going through transgender experience to have baggage and issues in their life but I think it's important that the person is capable of being on top of that more so than looking a certain way.
Imo, if you are capable of loving yourself then you are capable of loving someone else. Lots of transgender people have awful experiences that they struggle dealing with past and present. It sucks but it's really hard to stick with someone who is not capable of being mostly capable of emotional stability. I've met a number of trans people and honestly I think for some of them it's not a problem of how feminine they act or look but how much they are capable of not being a big problem for everyone including themselves because they are struggling mentally. It really sucks but being manic depressive, antisocial, anything like that is more likely to ruin relationships than anything.
Well, I don't know about everyone, but I am attracted to females, and if I notice masculine traits, it's a bit of a turn off. Also if they don't have bottom surgery or whatever I aint into dicks. I'm straight so that doesn't really apply does it? Like asking a straight guy what is their take on dating a guy? I wouldn't Dating a transgender would be even worse, not only are they a guy but they are mentally ill with gender dysmorphia and all the insecurities that come along with it, no thanks.
Well if someone looks like a women, smells and feels like a women why would a guy be gay for being attracted to her? A Male attracted to the female form is heterosexual irrespective of how that person used to look. Now if a guy was attracted to a hairy and manly transman he would be gay. I doubt a straight man would find buck angel attractive irrespective of how he looked before.
It's not for me. This is a terrible yet too often perpetuated myth. This disgusting form of ignorance has been sensationalized in both television and film. And what about Trans lesbians? Those of us who were attracted to women before transitioning are still likely to remain attracted to women. Trans women are women — end of story. Gender is fluid while sex is biological and rigid. Society shames men who are attracted to trans women by attacking their masculinity, labeling them as gay, or accusing them of having a fetish.
Trans women are taught that we only deserve companionship through secrecy. Being open about your relationship with us conveys the message to society that we deserve to be seen. That trans visibility deserves a safe space to exist which can then foster easier acceptance from others. Do you use tampons?
When did you begin to feel your breasts budding? Dating a Trans Woman is a Catch. Did you know that trans women face some of the highest risks of becoming victims of domestic violence? An underlying issue is the idea that trans women have nowhere else to go, as if abusive men are the only ones who will ever truly love us.
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